Monday, August 24, 2009

A mother's heart

Before children, I did not understand how my heart could be so wrapped up in one tiny little being. People say that we have children to continue our existence, but I think we have children to teach us things. Things like patience, and love, and how to explain things that you never thought about before. Like how the clouds stay up in the sky or why it's rude to point. I think God gives us a glimpse of how much he loves us through our children, whom we still love, even after telling them for the bazillionth time NOT to eat the cat food. Or stick things in outlets. Or push little sister off the couch. And oh, how our hearts ache when other children are mean to ours! And how our stomachs knot up when they get hurt, even as we try to keep our faces calm.
As the mother of a small boy, I have known my share of accidents resulting from the rambunctious little man. In one three day time span, he ran headfirst into a door, which resulted in a large egg-sized bump on his forehead; then fell off the couch and cut his lip open with his teeth on the windowsill, resulting in one big, fat, bleeding lip; and then used his eye to stop his fall onto the wooden arm of a chair, resulting in a rather colorful area around his eye.
This last week, we were up in Coeur d'Alene, Idaho, for family camp. And last week was the most heart stopping yet in my experience as a mother. First, he was swinging rather high on a swingset when he noticed something in his shoe.... so he let go with BOTH hands to get it out, right at the peak of the forward swing.  After he flipped 180 degrees and miraculously landed on his elbows and knees, I cleaned him up, patched all the scrapes with band-aids, and discussed with him the importance of waiting until you're stopped and on the ground to let go.  Next, while practicing archery, my son was retrieving his arrows near the target and leaned over to pick one up off the ground, failing to notice the one sticking straight out of the target at eye level. He screamed, we saw blood coming out of his eye, and my heart dropped straight down to my stomach. Fortunately, after a visit to the camp nurse and a visit to the eye doctor today, all is well. The next event at camp was at the rock climbing wall, where his finger got pinched in a caribbeaner, which also resulted in a lot of crying and a little blood. But the kicker was the zip line, which he had gone down several times before without problems. This time, it seized up right around the middle, and he was dangling in mid-air. At first he was fine... then he started kicking to try and get it moving again, and the chest strap rode up just enough to start choking him! This caused him to panic, and he was kicking (not helping!), screaming, and crying at the top of his lungs. I have never felt so helpless! Fortunately, the zip line staff member was quick to run a pulley up the line and we were able to get him to grab the rope she could pull him up the rest of the way. There was a 2 inch purple mark on his neck for the next few days, and little popped blood vessels all over his face that looked like purple freckles. He didn't let it affect him, though, and stayed cheerful for the rest of our week at camp.
Last week also held some amazing moments, like when he figured out that he could read most of the words on the screen onstage during song service, and I could hear his sweet little voice singing along with the other campers. Or how he snuggled up to me during the Saturday evening program, playing with my hair, whispering in my ear how much he loves me, and asking me to look up at the stars with him. And on the way home, while we were eating dinner, he figured out how to do a connect-the-dots drawing and find the way through the maze by himself.
He is the love of my life, my joy, my son.

Thursday, August 6, 2009

B&J DMBMB

Those of you who use facebook know that there are a myriad of quizzes available to tell you everything from how sexy you are to what your birthday says about you to what pet you should have and even the first letter of the person that has a crush on you. While I do not take ALL the quizzes, I have taken a few, and one of the most recent was the "What flavor of ice cream are you?" with the result: Ben & Jerry's Dave Matthews Band's Magic Brownies.
*record scratch*
My first thought was: They named an ice cream after a band and you-know-what kind of brownies?!?
Second thought: I have never had that kind of ice cream.... I do like ice cream.... I should try that one!
So I headed over to the local Ben & Jerry's only to find that this flavor of ice cream is not available at all locations, and I must trek down to the location next to the mecca MOC on Willamette St. to find the tiny tub with the elusive ice cream.
Upon arrival, I told the ice cream clerk (is there a special name for this position that I am unaware of?) my facebook quiz story and he helped me find the flavor (coincidentally shelved next to the Karamel Sutra flavor... yes, I bought that one, too...) while looking at me like I am undoubtably the oddest customer he's ever dealt with. Yeah, buddy, I know I'm odd.
Here's what the Magic Brownie flavor entails: Black Raspberry Ice Cream Swirled with Sweet Cream Ice Cream & Fudgy Brownies. My review: YUM. I'm not sure if they actually put drugs in the ice cream, but I will not be sharing the rest of the pint with anyone else. ;)
P.S. Possible review on the Karamel Sutra flavor to come at a later time.

Sunday, August 2, 2009

Put your hand in my hair

As I was snuggling my daughter tonight, she whispered to me, "Mommy, put your hand in my hair," which means she wants me to brush it off of her face and run my fingers through it, which helps her relax.  I also love the sensation and frequently asked my mom to do the same for me when I was little; sometimes I ask my husband to play with my hair when I've had a bad dream or need some help drifting off to sleep.  
My daughter lay there with her beautiful brown eyes wide open, staring at me with such love, and I thought, "This is one of the best parts about being a mom, this love and connection."  And then I thought about God and how I so want that with Him.  I want to lay beside Him and put my head on His arm while He plays with my hair.  I want to stare into His eyes and see Him looking back at me with that deep, powerful, unfailing love; I want to fall asleep knowing that I am safe with Him.